You never know when gravity might decide to just up and stop working with no warning, just like that ex-spouse of yours. That's why someone has to take on the job of checking every once in a while, and luckily you're here for that. Every time you find your forehead slamming into the asphalt, you save another life. Every time you crack your knee on a curb, you're making sure nobody else has to. You're a gravity checker, and now you have the tee or hoodie to prove it.